five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. how do you measure, measure a year ?
ive been sleeping with ghosts. accepting my own answers to the fundamental questions they dont teach me about in my philosophy class. im finally old enough to comprehend my own past and move on. im letting my old demons tuck me in at night. ive been watching stars crawling out of the sky. the constant high-fives and hugs are a firm reminder of everything ive been achieving of late. ive got tunnel vision but im doing fine. my achey legs wrap me in reassurance, and the hoarseness of my voice lets me know im getting there. falling asleep at ten-thirty halfway through watching spinal tap on a friday night is my life. and ive been hopeing im close to the spaceman movies i call my life. im going places ive only ever dreamed about. my life is taking shape, and its perfect form. i can feel the changes happening in my veins, sitting cross legged on a piano stool singing my heart out. ive never feel so at home, alive or happy. everything makes sense. the little girl with the big voice is all grown up. and ive got you to compel me that i still mean so much. and maybe the world can look like this forever.
insane few weeks gone, insane few weeks ahead. i have my czech coming to stay with me for a week on monday. excited ! im not even kidding, im actually excited haha. shes called petra, and shes going to be coming to all my classes with me for the week, much to mr wise's delight apparently ("the more the merrier"). you have no idea how much the pressure has been on the past few weeks. we only just finished ESL on thursday night. the last three songs were a struggle, when everyone is so sick of the entire score, and we all wanna go home, and fall asleep. the lovely miss gardener pushed us through though, bless her haha. i DO love you claire, even when i try to hide from you in the DISCO CUPBOARD ! haha. i love being in soprano sectionals, especially our "warm ups" *whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*, and mary's "pitch exercises", and how i experiment with the many uses of a music stand, and emma's "want a cheesy quaver salt and vinegar disco's beefy hula hoops ?". so on my insane thursday, i turn up to rehursal at 3, straight after biology, have our promo photo shoot for a newspaper, we do sectionals until ten past five, we leave, i get the train home, get to my house, nobody's in, and im stressing because i have to be back in school for six. and yes, i managed it haha ! well, ten minutes late. i was so pleased with myself haha, despite having to encourage my mother to speed to achieve it. i have the most crazyass week ahead of me. beshamonie arrive at 3PM on monday, i have a performance wednesday night, performance thursday night, performance friday night, petra leaves saturday morning, recital on sunday, performance on monday night. i will have NO voice come 10PM on monday. im so fucking excited though. class.
so i got into BYC. im so stoked. i even got a duet solo with another sop girl, called emy-lou. its part of an arrangement of I Wish I Knew How It Feels To Be Free. im unbelievably proud of my A5's, i can promise you. everyone seems pretty nice, and we get to sing the original spiritual of Wade In The Water, which is incrediable *sometimes i feel like a motherless child ..* its funny how i must have gotten so used to being racked with nerves everytime i step foot into bexley academy of music because of exams, that it appears to be a second nature to me now.
private music tutoring is finally underway. mother of mary, i was actually triiping over myself to get into P2 for my first voice lesson back. i feel bit bit empty without the weekly vocal and piano lessons. im in the Troth Book Of Divas haha ! "oh Miss Leigh-Hannah, your going to have to have the top spot in my book of divas. typical soprano. 'my voice, my voice! oh i have to be alone. my voice!'". true to the title, i suppose im probably not the easiest person to work with in terms of my demands haha, e.g. my music stand has to be a specific stand, at a very specific height, and if the height is wrong, i throw a fit and have someone come in and adjust it for me. and if a piece goes wrong i stop and take it right from the top. nothing by halves. trust me. so we're working on my Vaccai practical method. which thus far has been fun, and im so glad i bought the book. i spent goodness knows how long talking about PoTo E6, the Queen Of The Night aria (F6), and breath control tunnel vision. i so wanna do Think Of Me as one of my grade pieces next year. voice lessons are always hilarious. "its AHH. AHHHHH. say it for me. AHHHH. AHH like AHHHRSSSEEE. ARSE!" and "LEIGH CAN YOU PLEEEEEEEASEEE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEE hold the same vowel throughout that turn. im begging you" i love being a singer.
music GCSE is the best thing ever. for 2 hours a week i get to be in a class of fucking amazing people. best lesson so far has to be the infamous improv. lesson where the replacement guy asked us to harmonise over the Seasons Of Love melody. jennifer : please GTFO. i am not singing. *hides under table*" and me starting way too high and the guy's face being like "WOAH THERE GIRLIE!" haha. i also love how dinali, zoe and i "rehursed" our composition at lunch, which consisted of us sitting in P2 switching who was playing piano and who was playing drums, before actually returning to the original pattern, haha. and dinali making me laugh while i was playing piano in our final performance and me almost losing my note. zoe shouting "OMG DISSONANCE!" over me and dinali while we were playing. and sam putting us all to shame with a Brahms ballad. dinali's pedalling scenario, mary's chord scenario *sigh of relief from the right-hand side of the room*. it's by far my favorite class, even though im rediculously nervous about my solo performance next week, and the amount of compositions and theory/counterpoint work i have to do is insane. 8 bars = imperfect cadence, 16 bars = perfect cadence. someone help me remember that. and where to put my major thirds in a chord progression.
as if my parents werent already paying enough to support my aspirations (£275 per term for all my private music tutoring, academy of music membership, etc ...) im thinking of joining trinity. it would be so great for experience and when i come to apply for Trinity Guildhall University in 3 years time, it will be so many brownie points there. sounds like a plan. i feel for my parents haha. their bank account goes something like this : (per term) luke's theory lessons - £90, luke's guitar lessons - £350, leigh's voice lessons - £110, leigh's piano lessons - £110, leigh's academy of music membership admission - £30. im so glad my parents both have ridic. good jobs haha, cause they get to have badass musician kids. so trinity should be good, if i can get my parents to agree to it ahah.
school is brilliant, as promised. philosophy lessons own. english *swoons*. lord of the flies is amazing, mr wiseee .. haha. art is so much fun. no more latin or geography ever again ! haha. biology is hilarious "WHEELER WHEELER WHEELER!" hahahah. apparently my german accent is really good. hectic choir schedual. trampolining every friday = achey limbs. im hanging out with some amazing people in my year, who like me actually say stuff like "lets listen to the sonata's, no wait, michael buble!", and i managed to tell jimmy that i loved him. and i had the best "score war" with luke in year 13 on tuesday. seeing my lovely emma every week. me and mary having a disco in P2 in rehursal, and tramp woman immitations. class. civ lessons being a complete joke, "cronos LUL". basically, i love being a senior.
ive finally stopped throwing up everything i eat. im no longer living on root ginger and hot water. WOW SOLID FOOD !
im going to see Rent in a few weeks, ill update after. it should be good, seeing how im obsessed with the soundtrack. motion city soundtrack soon too. id rather not be going but it was a gift so i guess im obliged.
finished my craig armstong set, and ive started putting it onto my flickr. i had billy tang round a few weeks ago to go over some art stuff, which was hilarious "see you later. or maybe i wont. maybe i wont ever see you again"
finally, i need to stop worrying about you. its driving me insane. everytime i hear yiruma or piano instrumentals, i get racked with worry. i dont know if im worried for you or worry for me because your not there. i hope everything's going well for you at uni. i cant wait until these 3 years are up, and we can go for more of our night time picnics, or make candles. i miss you already, because im lame. and i like it when you ask me if im okay, or if i know who turina is. and when you swear under your breath, or laugh at me and matt dancing in the hallways. thomas, i love you and your "greatly distinctive and fashionable style". matt says "DYKE!"